I don't usually arrange sex via text message
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
