It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
