plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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