people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
