Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
God, I missed his penis.
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