he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
