A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
