"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
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