I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize