it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
