the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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