bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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