I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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