i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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