The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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