Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
