We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
