And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
