If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
