Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
