you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
