Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
