I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
