I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Are we still banned from the library?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
