Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
