Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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