I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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