I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
