Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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