She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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