i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
