He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize