so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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