dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
