clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
