Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize