I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
did you just send me my own nude
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
