what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he puts the penis in happiness.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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