Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
