if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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