She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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