I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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