I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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