they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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