I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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