Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
