Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
