I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
