She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't turn off my feet"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize