I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
