you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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