Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
