So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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