its not stalking. its research.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
