come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
