In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
and i looked up. we had an audience...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize