I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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