We're facebook friends in real life
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
