smell my finger.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
