you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
