My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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