I feel like abortions should bother me more
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
