My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
