I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
zippers are such a cool invention
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
