U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
