am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
