Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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